This week I attended a group that is designed for siblings who may have a brother or sister with an additional need.
It was said by one of the facilitators that the sibling may often become the ‘forgotten’ child.
I have one of those and she is my superhero – yet she is the one I often don’t talk about.
But there are lots of things to say about her, I wish I told her them more often.
So, I sat and wrote an ode to her and it went a little like this.
My Ode to a Superhero Sibling
You shine golden in my sunset
The bounces in your hair
You’re the air that I breathe
When fate feels so unfair
You stand there strong
A heroic warrior of four,
With grace, beauty and intelligence
Who could really ask for more?
To be you and just you
A sibling in your own right
With a childhood to live
That’s turned into a fight
Too kind and compassionate
Even smile when you’re sad
You keep me going
For that I’m so glad
We’re on this journey together
Survivors till the last
I can’t do it without you
Hand in hand we leave the past
I want you to let it out
To share how you feel
I’m scared you’ll stop still one day
With no ability to heal
Open up as best you can
Scream, kick, cry or shout
Let the mask come off sometime
It’s not healthy to shut it out
I sometimes crave the tranquility
Your personality brings
You’re resilience knows no bounds
It exudes through your wings
I wish I had more time for you
The times I’ve sat and sobbed
To be a family unit
The chances we had robbed
I forget to smell your presence
To watch the seeds we sowed
Soft as each velvet bud awakes
All the love that you are owed
This was my ode to you
My precious super girl
We all need you in our life
Our oyster needs a pearl
And so I wrote it, I just didn’t find the time to blog about it.
This week has been difficult with my superhero sibling.
After the session she didn’t talk.
She always talks or smiles or giggles. She said nothing.
She finally broke the silence and asked where her siblings were.
The next day she played up and begged to not go to school. She asked me why I spent all my time on PDA child and not on her.
I broke down in tears to her teacher – a person I’ve never said a word to.
A compassionate and kind lady who just smiles softly to me – her eyes offer empathy and it’s enough to send me over.
Superhero sibling never says anything, she never opens up the teacher told me. She seems to brave it all.
I think she has been unnerved since she started this therapy.
This isn’t the script she knows or is comfortable with.
Today was the one of the most heartfelt moments of my journey so far.
We had a huge overload whilst trying to get ready – I had to make a phone call for help.
I try not to use my SOS card too often.
I barricaded the bathroom to keep the siblings safe from any blows or launched objects.
We all felt scared in the storm, even PDA’er.
When it had calmed Superhero Sibling said to me:
“Mummy, please can I live at Nanny’s house, this house is scary.”
Please mummy … and I can just call you Aunty.”
Tears shed right now as I write about how she feels. My delicate flower.
You more than ever deserve this ode today … how special you really are.
I promise to dedicate more time to you, I can’t allow you to be forgotten.
I love you precious Superhero Sibling x