Going back to school is not always the joyous occasion we witness others experiencing.

For some of us we desperately want to be a part of it and to enjoy the euphoria we expect it should be.

To feel excited to put on new yearly uniform and experience the touch of wearing polished shoes as you try on your practice day back in plenty of time before start day.

Or to go shopping, pack stationary and make plans to see friends again.

There is a buzz in the air for many children and young people as well as the parents. So many times I hear friends and online discussions mention that they can’t wait to deliver their children back to their teachers for a break and that the holidays have drained them.

For some children they might be excited to meet new teachers and feel the adrenaline in the air that a new term brings of ‘feeling’ that much older.

The natural right of passage.

We want it all and yet it feels the complete opposite to the reality we have around a new transition and returning back into the unknown.

It’s difficult to explain how the start of school is terrifying when it is expected to be so joyous.

Even more so when you have more than one child who finds school tough.

Memories in September were always fractious and painful, all of the trying to get into school and the meltdowns that would happen before and after the day began.

The anger and avoidance before and after the school day took place.

The guilt and shame trying to force something that wasn’t working, whilst facing the threat of the authorities to comply.

But also the exclusions for one of my SEND children and the trauma around navigating school when nobody was listening – all of these images return when school starts – it’s hard to let go of the fantasy of school working for us as a family.

So we ended up finding another way and without those added pressures I feel like we have more autonomy over our lives.

This is why I wrote a novel about a woman who faces this exact situation and who soon learns to make the environment better for her daughter.

This book 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐛𝐨𝐰 might just be a lifeline to you if you’re facing the battles of a system which is not working (please click here to find out more).

If you have children and young people who are struggling with school starting soon then please know you are not alone.

However, it is your job to advocate for them, and you can do it with the right information behind you.

Please find a way to reach out to people and groups who can support you in the right ‘neuroaffirming’ way.

Much love to everyone,

Danielle

* For anyone interested to learn more on PDA we will be running a short webinar on Wednesday, 25th of September at 7pm (GMT). Tickets have been kept at a minimum cost of £10 per ticket to make this session more available to parents, carers, families and professionals. Tickets can be purchased here.